So, I'm part of this of this organization at KVCC called CRU, otherwise known as Campus Crusade for Christ. CRU is essentially a nonprofit organization on campus and they believe in evangelism, going and making disciples. They meet ever Thursday night at 8:08pm. We worship, receive a message and usually hangout as a big group afterward. During the week they have what we call a CG otherwise known as a community group and you just get together with a group of 4-10 students and you study the word with a couple of leaders who put together a study every week.
CRU also does cool outreach things throughout the year. Every fall they do fall getaway or fall retreat, they do a INDY conference every year around New Years and a bunch of students ring in the new year together. They also do spring break mission trips every year. Some go to Florida, some go to Guatemala, some go to Portugal. They also do summer mission trips. They have international mission trips and they have statewide mission trips which typically last longer.
When I was getting mentored at Southridge Reformed Church to become a member there and get confirmed and baptized in my faith, my mentor at the time, Gracie Mcdonald went to CRU and she went to Florida every year for spring break. In Florida you attend a conference in the morning and evening and during the day you share the gospel. I've always wanted to go to Florida, ever since I heard of it! But there has never been a good opportunity for me to go. So, every year I miss it. But for some reason this year, it's been on my heart more than usual.
I really thought about going to Guatemala at first with Pat (my significant other) but then we attended a meeting for it and I realized that it wasn't where I was being called to go. Told Pat that, that wasn't where I was supposed to go. He of course was fully supportive but I was worried. What does this mean for our spring break? Are we supposed to spend this spring break separately? If so, that brings a whole other list of questions! So just a lot of unknowns.
I had signed up to go to Guatemala which two of the leaders from CRU had seen. With my mental illness being involved they have to have a conversation with me to make sure it's a good idea for me to go, if it would be healthy for the entire team if I went. They called me to have a meeting with them about me going to Guatemala. So I agreed to have the meeting with them. I always get super anxious when I have these meetings with them, simply because I know they don't necessarily agree with my choices and decisions. I also feel that certain leaders add stigma to mental illness.
So, we meet for coffee to discuss me going to Guatemala. Which again, I don't feel called to go to Guatemala and I explain why. We agree on why I shouldn't go to Guatemala. But they aren't 100% on board with me going to Florida right now either. Which is super upsetting. Especially because Pat is for sure going to Guatemala. Yet, I very well may not be able to go to Florida simply because of my mental illness. This is where I feel like they are adding to the stigma of mental illness. They also worry about me going to Florida right now because of the fact that I ended up in emergency a few weeks ago because of my mental illness so they don't exactly feel like it's safe for me to go. They want to have another conversation with me before I sign up to go to Florida to see how I'm doing.
This is super frustrating. But I firmly believe God is calling me to Florida for a reason. So if it's in his plans nothing can stop the Lord almighty. I'm really excited to see where God takes me and what he'll have me doing on spring break. I'm putting my faith and trust in him! Proverbs 3:5 is my battle cry.
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