Family can be so hard to deal with, am I right? I mean, if you're in college you have the phone calls to make and trying to arrange times to see family. If you add a significant other into the mix then you have to try to squeeze them into an already busy schedule. But lets say, because I know some of you already do this, lets say you're married and have kids and have parents. Well now you have to make sure you're meeting your intermediate family's needs. But you also have to make sure that you're taking care of your parent's needs and maybe even grandparent's needs. That's a LOT to carry. It can be rather overwhelming and frustrating.
I'm taking a college class right now, I've tried SEVERAL times to get myself through school, but unless you have the right support team, it can be rather difficult. My family isn't very supportive, which I know some of you understand. So I'm trying to get through just this one class but my family always seems to need me at the most inconvenient moment, which is incredibly frustrating. Thankfully my boyfriend, Pat is incredibly understanding and is willing to help me take care of my family whenever needed. It still takes a toll, especially when he's used to just making a phone call and arranging times to meet. Unfortunately, his grandmother hasn't been doing well lately and she has needed some extra care, but that doesn't directly affect Pat and me usually. But my family needing me does directly affect me and my relationship with Pat.
When I say, "My family" I mean the people who raised me, the people who took me when they didn't have to, the family that chose me when the world said, "She's worth nothing." My grandparents took me in when it wasn't their job to and they raised me. Now that is a task in and of itself and it's a rather difficult task. But when you add mental illness on top of it and you add PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) on top of it, it can become rather challenging. Regardless, my family didn't give up. Now that I'm a fully functioning adult, It's hard me for me to not be there at their every beck and call. They yell and I come running. If I don't then they make me feel horribly guilty and they make me feel like I'm not doing enough. I've given up relationships for my family, I've put my education on hold for my family and I've even lost jobs for my family. But that's not what family is supposed to be about.
A lot of times you will hear people say, "Blood is thicker than water." Or "Family is everything" or my favorite is, "That's still your mom and dad and you need to respect them as such." These things aren't true, especially if your mom or dad has put you through abuse. Again, that's not how God designed family. Then you will often hear, "honor thy mother and thy father." God doesn't want a life of abuse for you. If you are being abused I encourage you to go seek professional help. A completely free and confidential help line is 211. Another way to get help is through HR at work, a trusted friend or go to a police station. If you need specific resources, don't hesitate to reach out.
My favorite bible verse regarding family is Matthew 12:49-50, "Then he pointed to his disciples and said, "look, these are my mother and my brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!" Our "Family" is anyone who follows God. Our relationships here on earth don't really matter, what matters is what relationships are going with us to heaven. Rely on God when your family needs you for every beck and call; you can't be superwoman or superman all the time. Surrender it all to God. I'm not perfect at this and I strive to give it to God everyday. Join me as we step into the person God has called us to be!
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