Anger is kind of a hard thing. It's hard to talk about it, it's hard to express, it's hard to deal with, but most of all, it's hard to experience. It's hard to experience when you NEVER used to be angry all the time. It's hard to experience when you don't understand where it's coming from. But when you live with someone else, it's even harder. You don't want to take the anger out on them, but honestly they are the person you are usually most angry with. Even if you're not, like for me I don't think that's the case, but I also don't know what to do with all of this anger. So unfortunately the person I live with and the person I care about the most, gets the brunt of my anger. This is incredibly frustrating, especially because I'm on medicine to help with the anger, but it hasn't quite kicked in completely yet.
So I'm just always angry at the slightest of things. Some would say it's because of my mental illness, which by the way is bipolar disorder, or some would say it's my past that's affecting this anger. Both are probably true, but either way it doesn't matter because all I know is that I'm literally angry 24/7. The bible says, it's okay to be angry at God, just so it doesn't cause us to sin against God. But have you ever been so angry at something or someone and all the sudden just stopped dead in your tracks to think about what your doing? No? Well that's okay, because right now, I don't even do that. But what I would encourage you to do if you ever get this angry, go to the word and pray about it and seek professional help. I will say, while i'm getting professional help, going to scripture isn't exactly easy. I can't help but think, God doesn't want to hear this or God doesn't care about this, I'm just being selfish. But God does care and he wants you to run towards him with anything, including anger.
My favorite bible verse on anger is James 3:6 "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of ones life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell" The bible verse is telling us the the tongues wickedness has its source in hell itself. The uncontrolled tongue can do terrible damage. Satan uses the tongue to divide people and pit them against one another. Idle and hateful words are damaging because they spread destruction quickly, and no one can stop the results once they are spoken. We can't be careless with what we say, thinking we can apologize later, even if we do the scars remain. A few words spoken in anger can destroy a relationship that took years to build. Before you speak, remember that words are like fire- you can't reverse the damage they do. I still have a LOT of work to do in this department, I am in no way perfect about this. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
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